30 June, 2009

Don't these men understand that you can't abuse a woman without abusing her children?

Abuse, Work Hard, not Smart

I will forever marvel at the man who gathers his children warmly about himself, gives them tender kisses and words of love, then turns to the mother of his children, and gives her spite, cruelty , degrading words, and carries within himself the illusion that he is a good, loving righteous father.

These sights remind me of a couple I once knew. They loved their little boy dearly. The dotted on him as though he were the very son of God. As they both worked full time, the couple employed a nanny. Many times I was shocked by how degrading their manner was toward their nanny. Didn't they understand when their backs were turned, the nanny was the one in care of their child. A child receives their happiness or sorrow from their primary care giver.

If a father loves his children and has the slightest clue as to human nature and physics he should demonstrate the utmost kindness to his children's mother, and lift her up. In order for the mother of his children to provide a caring, nurturing environment for her children, she needs to be emotionally and physically strong.

Every time, he digs at their mother, tearing her down, he is destroying his children's world. So many mothers have to strengthen their hearts, bind them up, and turn to their children, and as an demonstration of love to them, refuse to pass on the abuse to the children.

Don't these men understand that you can't abuse a woman without abusing her children. Emotionally or physically. It's just another way of burning down the home your children are sleeping in.

Motherhood is one of life's most challenging tasks and mothers need all the strength they can get.

If a man wants to build up his children, he must also build up the mother of his children. Otherwise, he may work hard, but not smart. He working against himself.

Father's need to remember to honor the mother of their children, they need it.


  1. Just a chance passerby by to this blog after following a series of links from a Google alert. Well, perhaps it's not such a coincidence after all. I do have an active interest in the subject matter. You are right in your assertion that a man cannot abuse his children's mother without abusing the children, for many reasons, above and beyond those you listed here. Would you agree that a mother that seperates a father from his son also damages her son?

    My son was abducted to Mexico by my wife and I struggle to bring him home. Somehow I feel that by my simply stating that you have decided that I am an abusive husband and that she fled to protect herself and/or her son, but perhaps I am unfair. I have not read any more of your blog besides this post but a couple of the ones that led me here seemed very anti-men (and I was raised by a feminist, single mother) so much so that I left them without ever bothering to comment. There is little point trying to convince those that are motivated by ideology rather than reason. All men are not bastards and all women are not saints.

  2. I agree with you and hope you are reunited with your son soon. Those who make false accusations of abuse not only destroy the lives of their own children and the other parent, they also are one of, if not the, main causes that those who TRULY ARE abused are often ignored and/or not believed. Making false accusations of abuse should definitely be a crime.

    And as much as I'm sure that you're no bastard, I too am no saint, but I am working everyday to do what is best for my children, not for myself, sometimes I slip and fail, so then I fess up, pick myself back up and continue on the forever journey...I wish I did better and everyday new day I hope I do.