11 December, 2008

To break the cycle, abused women need support

Abusive men use triangulation, enmeshment, parental alienation, manipulation, bullying, intimidation, extreme controls and games they play through their children, co-workers, friends, family, and anyone to try to continue the abuse. Financial abuse typically ruins many women’s lives once they leave an abusive man.

If a woman stands up to talk about abuse, she tends to get more abuse. Restraining orders are hard to get and keep without good and ongoing documentation of an abusive man’s behaviors. Ongoing legal help is very costly. Unless a woman has a very lucrative career, an abusive man easily continues to create problems post-divorce so the woman runs out of money simply trying to move forward in life.

To any of you whose lives will be touched by a woman experiencing domestic abuse, please be her friend. Help her find resources and stick with her for the tough years ahead. It takes years to escape domestic abuse and stay totally clear of it. Escaping domestic abuse can only happen when a woman is ready and has had enough personal pain to walk away and stay away from unhealthy relationships for good.

The above clips were taken from an editorial written by “Ginger” and “Mary Ann,” two women who survived domestic abuse and were interviewed in 2006 by Ruth Anne Maddox. To read article in its entirety please click HERE

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